Where to Now?

As we anticipated, our Utah Support Group is fast approaching the point of being challanged to make it on their own. We'll still be there for support, guidance, and sharing. But we are rapidly moving toward a state of allowing them to swim alone.

This situation is not unlike a rearing, coaching, or mentoring relationship. Where a point is reached when someone has to find answers and solutions for themselves. Some do so more reluctantly than others. Others want to hold on to the apparent comfort provided them week to week. Others want to talk of all the reasons why things are not working as smoothly they would like.

For example, dissatisfaction with bus system as a means of transportation. It's very, very cold in Utah and we have 'southern genes." (probably true!) Dissatisfaction with FEMA; very, very, old news. We steer the conversations to questions like, "What do you have total control of?" Sometimes, it takes painfully long to finally conclude, "your own destiny."

Empathy and compassion prevail as the realization begins to set in that there is no pity forthcoming anymore. Just comments of how empowered they are. Employment is our major focus. New learning skills are a necessity. (just like in most organizations, e.g., Six Sigma) Ultimately, realizing that we really have no workable answers for them. Just guidance and support as we stated in the beginning.

As I survey the group, some faces no longer return. They have "gotten it" and moved on with their lives. Some new faces show up, of all races, with the hope of fellowship and community. Some who have been there from the beginning are beginning to fear they will no longer have the "comfort of complaining." We are in the final stage of Kubler-Ross' model from Denial to Acceptance. Thus, we are back to the original question, "where to now?"

As usual, we can probably see areas in own lives where we are still holding on to the "comfort of complaining" rather than an empowered mind-set of creating our own reality. The Support Group continues to be a marvelous mirror into our own unresolved challenges. The Key: Whenever I feel dissatisfied in some way with the group, that's my signal to look within myself for the lesson they are there to teach me.

This period into the new year will be one of "Transition" for us all! Our message will be reflection and renewal. The heros in our process continue to be Reverend France Davis and Ernest Timmons.