Where to Now?

Dying Spiritually

A big debate on the talk shows this week has focused on the Supreme Court’s ruling regarding assisted suicide in Oregon. The court upheld Oregon’s law allowing doctors to prescribe medication with the sole purpose of ending a terminally ill patient’s life.

My personal opinion on the subject is that an individual should have the right to make his or her own decision on whether they should prolong their life or not when faced with a few more months on this earth. But I also think we all need some good, unbiased guidance to help us if we find ourselves faced with such a decision. This might be a good topic for Dr. Guillory to explore.

Here’s my experience with a terminally ill loved one. My mother was diagnosed with cancer in 2000 and the doctor said she had three months to live. After a few weeks of shock, we went to work finding a different doctor. We found a doctor at the Huntsman Center in Salt Lake City, Utah and as we owned a home in Salt Lake, my mom moved up there immediately.

The doctor operated successfully and told my mom her life would be extended about 5 years. Almost 5 years to the date of her operation, the cancer came back and this time there was nothing the doctors could do. During those 5 years, my mom was in relatively good health and she was able to accomplish many things she wanted to do before passing on to the next stage of her life.

The operation she underwent in 2000 was excruciatingly painful and there were no guarantees it would be successful. But my mom had the courage to go through with it. Living with a five-year “deadline” was mentally draining on her at times, but my mom had the courage to live those five years well. The final two months of her life were probably the hardest for her. She was in constant pain, but she had the courage to let nature take its course.

Those last two months were a blessing on the entire family. I remember one Saturday morning going to her house and sitting beside her for hours, not doing anything in particular, but just being with her; something I had never done as an adult. Each of my siblings had similar moments with her.

My mother taught me courage in the face of dying. One of the last things she said to me was, “I tried hard to fight, but I can’t fight anymore. Is it okay?” Those words, more than anything else, told me how hard it was for her to keep going on despite having no hope of a recovery. She fought so hard for us, to show us how to have courage.

So again, my personal opinion is that the individual should make his or her own decision regarding their life when faced with a terminal disease. But it would be my hope that each individual could make his or her own decision in tune with their personal spirituality. For my mother, showing her kids courage and fighting to the end was more important to her than ending her life early. And I respect and love her for her example to us.