Where to Now?

In researching the subject of maturing, or more precisely aging, it appears that several things begin to happen as we get older. This process probably starts at 40 but is fully into motion at 50+. The things that begin to happen are:

1) A reassessment of one's core (spiritual) values; beyond
what you've been taught to believe and value.

2) A decision to get off the fast track of working 14 hours
a day and/or long-term physical exhaustion.

3) An aversion to in-depth change and new learning (unless you
are forced to by life circumstances).

I have a good friend who spent most of her life trying to be like the predominant culture she grew up in. In retrospect, she knew, even as a young girl, that something was not quite right about her comfort with her culture; and even her family. In fact, I've had many friends over the years who have said "they were born into the wrong family!" At around 40 or so, the pressure to conform just becomes too great to fake it anymore. By this time, we typically have a family and other parental responsibilities that appear to keep us locked into our time-bomb. Because it's just a matter of time before things explode. Explode is unique for each person. But a crisis is usually necessary to begin the road to true discovery of one's self and freedom.

The second situation involves work-life quality, balance, and integration. Once our values are reassessed, we usually discover a "spiritual family" of people. Those individuals that we not only feel comfortable with, but also provide us the growth, nourishment, and unconditional acceptance of who we are. These individuals may include our biological family, but oftentimes go beyond them. For the most part our career objectives have been more or less defined and we begin to discover that life is about more than professional success. How we manage our time and activities is more consciously derived from our spiritual values and spiritual family.

The third situation involves change and new learning. The most difficult lesson many of us have to learn is that change, or more precisely transformation, is not a choice! It's either pay me now or pay me later, with usually much more severe consequences. I have a friend who asked me on an occasion some time ago, "If love is the unconditional acceptance of another person, then why do I have to change in my marriage." I responded, "You've actually asked me two separate questions."

"Unconditional acceptance does not dictate the form of your relationship," I responded. "Love is spiritual; notice I didn't say 'true love' or 'unconditional love.' Love has no human-created counterpart, such as hate. Though your husband may love you, continual human transformation is necessary to maintain an authentic human relationship."

With respect to situation #2 above, change and new learning appears to be particularly challenging for many of us who are 50+ in the workplace. This situation will be exacerbated with the rapid "graying of the work force" coupled with the subtle intolerance of many GEN Xers and Millennials of older workers. I'll have more to say about this situation in a subsequent blog.

Here are a few thoughts you might consider at this point in life, irrespective of age:


1) Begin to get clear about your spiritual (not religious) values.

2) Design your activities from your spiritual values.

3) Identify the most challenging situation you would have to resolve
in order to live true to your spiritual values.

4) Most of all, remember this challenging situation is within YOU!

For all frustrated self-publishers, read the previous blog about Razorpages! Also, the third chapter of the Rodney audio is posted, for children of all ages!