Where to Now?

On my March 27th blog, I began a discussion about living without fear. My approach was an individual perspective. Since that is the only person we have 100% control of. I tend to think of fear in two ways: 1) those events that may actually cause us physical harm and 2) those events that may threaten our strongly-held beliefs and cause us to change our preconceived peceptions about others, their way of thinking, and their way of living.

Of the the two, the second is the one that I believe is the greatest "threat" to most of us. The human tendency to believe that our way of believing and thinking is superior to others is called ethnocentrism. Ethnocentrism is the classic way we tend to protect ourselves from learning how others view the world and avoiding the possibility of realizing that their way of believing and thinking is just as vaild as ours.

So, the first step to living without fear is education. Specifically, learning about those we fear most. The challenge is to begin learning without judgement. Which is practically impossible. Therefore, it's important to realize that judgement is there while learning. Acknowledging it makes the process of learning move along easier. The objective is to gradually move to a place where we learn another's point-of-view without the fear of setting aside our own threatened notions.

I remember the first time I live in Paris, France. I couldn't believe the perceptions they held about the U.S. The more I listened and understood their perceptions from their point-of-view, the more it was easy to understand why they felt the way they did. I was no longer controlled by the U.S. media, which tends to propagate only our way of thinking. As my understanding increased, so did my global perspective of people. The result was, I learned thay no one country, culture, or system of thinking fits best for everyone in the world.

So, how do we begin the systematic process of education?

1) Read books, use the internet, or have direct experience of someone who is different.

2) Try to put yourself in the position of that "different person" and ask yourself this question: "If I had that person's background, upbringing, and experiences, could I possibly be as committed to their beliefs as I am to mine?"

3) Compare similarities and differences between the two and begin to ask, "What great wisdom do I possess that might make me know what is best for someone else?"

4) And lastly, think of someone in your neighborhood who believes and thinks significantly differently than you do. Do you feel you have the right to change them to fit your beliefs ( as you consider the functionality or disfunctionality of your own home) or do you conclude their beliefs are as valid as yours, IN PRACTICE!

So living without fear begins with learning about others, why they think the way they do, and considering their perceptions, in large part, as valid as yours. The second step is Acceptance, which I'll discuss in my next blog.

Meanwhile, check out the free audio book, Rodney, then visit our bookstore and order a few titles.