Where to Now?

Like the "Lady" said R-E-S-P-E-C-T, give me my propers when I get home! Respect in terms of the acceptance of the inherent value and equality of others; particularly where differences are prominent. How can there be collaboration, as I have defined it, without respect? Not possible. The mechanical and technological aspects of collaboration are EASY compared to the interpersonal stuff that make them work. Can I get an AMEN?

I remember when I used to conduct "minority enrichment programs" at the university. I could see on the faces of those students, "Do you think I am inferior?" So, the first thing I began with is, "Why do you think we are here?" There was absolute silence. In fact, there was more than a hint of hostility. So I asked again, "Why do you think we are here?" Someone said, "Because they think we are dumb!" So I asked, "Are you dumb?"

There was a resounding "No." With an unspoken word that started with an A. So I said, "If you are not dumb, then why are we here?" "Because we have a hard time adjusting to this place," was a response. This place was a dominantly white, middle-class institution. "Why is that," I asked. "They think we are here because we are academic welfare cases." "Well, are you?" I asked innocently. "Hell no," was the response of my brightest welfare cases. "Well when are you going to stop performing like you are? I asked. There was absolute silence. Notice I didn't ask "acting like" but "performing like."

"They don't respect us" someone shouted. "Do you respect yourself?" I asked. "Of course" was the collective response. "Then why do you need anyone's approval? I asked humbly. Absolute silence again. "If we are going to do this thing together, then we had better get clear about the difference between respect as a person and what you know or don't know about western mathematics and science. If we discover that science and mathematics are not the problem, then let's talk about self perception, responsiblity, and empowerment." Which we did for two hours. After which, I suggested we meet again in one month to review our performances and decide where do we go from here. By the way, these minority students were of all races, ethnicities, and sex!

What's the point? When we bring self respect (not arrogance) to a relationship it shouts louder than any action needing approval. When respect is there, then the third element of collaboration naturally follows: Trust.