Where to Now?

At the turn of each new year, I always reflect on the past year. I try to determine what I have learned that I would like to take into the new year and what I would not like to take. In essence, I want to consciously create my own reality. Such an examination requires a great deal of discipline and wisdom since it is so easy to fool myself. After all, I tend to consult three entities, me, myself, and I, and we all tend to agree!

No, the type of examination I'm thinking of has to transcend the mind. It has to tap into the well of wisdom that is available to us all. Sometimes, this process can only be accomplished through facilitation by someone we not only trust to be honest, but also has the skill of wisdom--an in-depth understanding, empathy, and compassion for the human experience. If you have someone like that in your life, you are very fortunate. On the other hand, if you only have someone you can skillfully manipultae to only see your point of view, then you get what you get.

One of the things I have become very good at is determining how I spend my time. At this stage in my life, what I do with the hours I have each day has become of prime importance. The main criterion I use for this determination is based on relationship. A major part of this acitvity is spending time alone to read, play in my garden, clean my house, write, and simply reflect on the contributions I would like to make to the world before I choose to leave. I have gone beyond disappointing people because I do not want to accommodate their agendas of likes and dislikes.

I like to retire early and rise early when I feel very refreshed and creative. I am a morning person--5:00 to 6:00 am. I like to exercise to clear my mind. I have begun to eat healthy, which I paid little attention to for most of my life. I read labels of food content and attempt to eat sparingly. I know many, if not most, of you have been doing these things for years. I have reacquainted my self with my clarinet (with my daughter) and will resume my piano lessons.

The reason I telling you all of this is that you might make an accounting without me sounding righteous. I wanted to share about me first. In reviewing the two previous paragraphs, the invitation is for to consider how YOU would write them for yourself--if you so choose. When you write something it's like making a legally binding agreement with yourself as opposed to a loosely defind thought process.

Now for the "let-go's" or the learnings. I have learned to talk much, much less. I've discovered that most of the time people simply want to talk through their problems to find their own solutions. They just need a good listener. Even when there appears to be an openning for comments or advice, I assure you others dont't want any UNLESS they ask you several times for your non-binding thoughts. Then such comments might best be framed as "When I had a situation like that, this what I did and learned....." or "If I had a situation like that, this is what I would probably do......" And, I'm not sure if would work or not. Then I have learned to simply "shut-up!" and listen more.

I have learned that a relationship is an unconditional commitment to another person's health, happiness, and well-being. And learning how to behave appropriately to that commitment is a never-ending learning process. It is probably one that I won't master before I decide to leave. However, I am getting better. My major new realization is to simply "be more" and "do less." The more I "be" the more I learn. This is very hard for "doing-oriented" people like me. But it sures take a lot of stress out my life. Mastery of this skill is reflected by one's average blood pressure.

The last thing I'll share here in terms of transitioning into the new year is more consciously creating my own reality. Evaluating my skills, interests, and new areas of preferred learning and designing the script of my life to fit these criteria. This clarity allows me to relate my script and myself better to others so they will know "where I'm coming from." They might not be happy with my script, but at least, they won't be confused. If I am in a committed relationship--which may or may not be marriage--I will probably have to make some adjustments to my original script.

Again, the reason I have shared so much about myself here is credibility. To suggest what you might think about requires that I share those suggestions about myself. That's my way of thinking and may not be true for everyone.

Thanks,
Bill

P.S. "We all live such elaborate lives." Line from the Play Aida